Emotional Intelligence
Written by Deus Fortier on Mar. 20th 2019
Some short-form thoughts on emotional intelligence:

Being "emotionally unavailable" means not feeling safe enough to express the magnitude of what is actually being felt.
  
Our response to prolonged threat is to shut down feeling faculties in order to survive an overwhelming or inescapable situation.

We then overlay a compensatory behavior that protects us from that pain, such as stoicism, passivity, aggressiveness, apathy, etc.

To unlock and liberate emotional transparency from this stage of unconscious coping takes patience, gentleness, and love.

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Being "insensitive" is a form of compensatory behavior for having one's emotions and sensitivities lead to ridicule, rejection, or pain.

When an aspect of ourselves is rejected while growing up either through the withdrawal of love or even outright abuse, we shut down those parts of us.

As adults we then grow to resent those who embody the qualities that we were denied, simultaneously being drawn towards them with an irresistible fascination, and rebelling against them with a furious intensity.

Our projections and biases are sign posts towards the disowned, un-integrated aspects of our being.

To re-sensitize to these qualities within us takes great courage and a willingness to grieve the depth of our original wounds.

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Someone claiming to be "empathic" is usually projecting their own emotional biases onto the object of an "other" as a form of spiritual bypassing.

It is much more palatable to the ego construct to place responsibility for one's internal world outside of oneself, conveniently positioning them as an incontestable authority by virtue of their superior faculties of perception.

In it's actualized state, being empathic means having a deep psychosomatic awareness of a relational field of vibration, which is possible only to the depth at which one has personally explored and integrated their traumatic conditioning and the corresponding compensatory behaviors - aka their shadow.

Until deep trauma work has taken place, reality is heavily filtered through layers of unconscious survival mechanisms which distort perception, sensation, and interpretation of a person and / or situation.

Those who are truly empathic do not fall prey to emotional reactivity which is a telltale sign of an unprocessed wound, but rather demonstrate a receptive responsiveness that invites deep connection and genuine contact.

When understanding occurs, love naturally arises.

Deus Fortier

Deus Fortier helps men unleash their masculine power and emotional depth. He is an expert at activating latent human potential through online, group, and 1on1 coaching.
If you're interested in taking your life and relationships to the next level then definitely reach out and request a free strategy session today.
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